Anxiety surrounding the end of lock-down and the return to norm.

 So like many people in the UK I was furloughed mid March when the country went into lock-down, my shop closed and that was it. I was off work, binge watching TV shows and getting paid 80%! But now after 4 months I go back to work next week.

And I am terrified. 

I have spent the last few months not being very productive, sleeping in to whatever time I wanted and having no real responsibility, and as boring as it got sometimes, the longer it took to get the date to go back to work the more anxious the thought of going back became.

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my job and how passionate I am about it, and it is not the actual job I am scared about, it is the unknown, it is the risk and how I know I am going to have to deal with horrible customers who don't care about mine or my volunteers safety. I know I'm going to have to deal with angry people when I can't take their items because I am full. I know I'm going to have a huge workload and not as much staff to help.

It's strange because in my head I know I can handle it, I've handled awful customers before (so many when I was a waitress!!!), and I've had struggles on busy days with staffing, but it just seems so different this time, maybe because I'm out of practise, maybe because I'm worried of catching the virus, I can't quite put my finger on the exact reason.

I also feel like we've been put under so much pressure to do something whilst we've been off work, maybe that is just me seeing it, but I see all these tik toks, Instagram, twitter posts about people who have done something productive while being off work, have lost a bunch of weight, started a successful small business or redecorated, and whilst that is so wonderful and I will support these people, I don't think there has been enough emphasis on the fact it is totally okay not to have had a 'successful' furlough! I haven't! I've posted some of my embroidery on Etsy, but it certainly hasn't become a successful business, honestly I barely get dressed most days, just into new pyjamas or scruffy clothes! 

I know I will be OK and I have a great support system at work, but I also know it's going to be hard, and I think it would be silly to have no worries or anxieties about returning to normal life, even if I may be having a few more anxious thoughts than the average person!

How do you feel now the countries going back to normal? 


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